Thursday, August 23, 2012

Academic Charlotte Anne Sends in A Playlet / Object Lesson on Making Enrollment Work for Everyone!

Snowy: I would like to get into your Hamster Psychology 101 class.

Me: Which one? I teach four sections.

Snowy: The 8:00-8:50 class.

Me: I don’t teach that section.

Snowy: Okay, when do you teach?

Me: I have Hamster Psychology 101 at 9, 10, 11 and 1, but my 9 and 10 classes are full.

Snowy: Okay, so can I sign up for the 11:00?

Me: Yes.

So I sign him up and twenty minutes later he comes back.

Snowy: I have to take Biology at 11:00 so I need to get into the 9:00 or 10:00 class.

Me: Those classes are full

Snowy: But I have to work in the afternoon so I need the 9:00 or 10:00 class.

Me: (WTF? I don’t give a shit about your work schedule.) Those classes are full. I do not over enroll my classes. Furthermore, there are NO SEATS. (Literally, there are not enough seats because in my 9 and 10 o’clock classes which are in the same room, someone stole one of the tables. And what part of NO did you not understand? Oh silly me, I forgot that you are part of the Trophy Generation, no one has ever told you NO. No means it ain't gonna happen, not even with six more stupid, unrelated reasons, and Thank Jebus the class is full because I so don't want you in there.)

What I didn’t tell him is that I don’t over enroll my classes because the administration does not pay me extra to do extra work (though they will gladly reduce my pay if a class is “under-enrolled.") If I over enroll then it is my own stupid fault.

Of course when I was untenured I was “encouraged” to over enroll because as a CC we have a high drop rate, so it all evens out. Except that it doesn’t; I do all the work and the college gets all the money.

The other thing is that I don’t like to enroll students late to class in general. Even though I don’t cover that much on the first day, the college wide data has shown that students who sign up late have a very high drop/fail/withdraw rate. Well, duh. They didn’t have their shit together to register on time, why would they have their shit together for the class. But we are “encouraged” to sign students up late so as "not to impede their academic success" and more likely to get their money.

- Academic Charlotte Anne

4 comments:

  1. The other thing is that I don’t like to enroll students late to class in general. Even though I don’t cover that much on the first day, the college wide data has shown that students who sign up late have a very high drop/fail/withdraw rate. Well, duh. They didn’t have their shit together to register on time, why would they have their shit together for the class.

    This is very, very, very, very, very, [etc.] true, and well worth remembering at this time of year. It can save considerable misery later.

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  2. Our add/drop/waitlist policy is wonderful. Students on the waitlist have 24 hours to enroll once a seat opens. The process is completely automatic and I don't have to touch it. Faculty overrides for capacity are *forbidden*. Gen eds are capped across the board by the college.

    Students who don't show the first two days can be dropped (or one day in a once-weekly class). No adds after the first week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I usually don't get requests to overload my classes, but this semester, I've received two. Both of 'em got essentially the same reply (paraphrased):

    "Hi, whatever you said your name was.

    Thank you for your interest in HAMST 3155. If you would like to enroll in the class, check the CougarWEB system for an open spot. The deadline for registering is this Thursday.

    Regards,

    Dr. Mindbender"

    Then, when the inevitable "but I done ast you nice-like, can I please has overload?" email arrives, I just ignore it 'cuz they already got their answer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is exactly what I wanted to say to the 17 requests for overrides I received during our first week of the term! However, I was lucky enough to be able to say, "Please make your request with the dept chair, as I am in the middle of class."

    ReplyDelete

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